Sunday, 14 October 2012

Full-time Freakout

I have made a decision to apply for a full time job. The position is somewhere I really want to work. Although I didn't want to go back to work until after the holiday period, I haven't seen a position come up here before. So I feel as though I should apply now in case there isn't an opportunity when I am ready to return to work.

I would love to stay at home with my baby until she starts school. Unfortunately that is not plausible for my family. My partner is just starting his career and although he can earn enough for us to live, it is not enough to save to buy a house or anything like that. So return to work I must. I am hoping I only have to for a few years, until we have our next child (which is probably 3 or 4 years away) and then I can stay home with the next child for at least a year.

I know that many mothers return to work, but I can not help but feel guilty. I always thought that I would be a stay at home mother until all of my children were at school. I do not think that will be the case. Although I would love to stay home with my children, for my family I need to work, so we can get ahead. Maybe in a few years I can reduce my hours to part time? I don't know. I am both excited and freaking out. I want this job. I do. I also want to stay home with my baby girl and never miss any thing she does. I am so TORN.

I will keep you updated, until then I shall silently freak out.
Feel free to tell me how it works in your household, or a simple, everything will be alright!

31 Oct 2012 - Update
I decided not to apply for the job, I just got incredibly sad about the whole ordeal. I love being home with Sophia and she is at an age that I really don't want to leave. She is so interactive and has a great wee personality that is beginning to shine! She plays games, sings and gives me spontaneous kisses and cuddles. Who could leave that? I might re-evaluate the situation after the holiday period.

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